Cinco de Mayo

Friday, May 5, 1995

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

What better day to share with you this, an example of the work of an ESL-transitional English Nine student. The assignment is Vocabulary List #2. It was assigned on Tuesday, April 25, when I provided the students with the words, parts of speech, definitions, and sample sentences for the list’s ten words (apothecary, damsel, depict, frivolous, hesitate, infinite, shroud, trudge, vexed, and vial; all gleaned from this year’s CoreLit works, including Romeo and Juliet, The Miracle Worker, and Of Mice and Men [not to mention the multicultural works House on Mango Street and Gorilla My Love]). The assignment was for the students to write rough draft sentences for each of the ten words before class on Wednesday.

Every Wednesday, I check off the sentences to make sure they’re done; this I do again on Thursday, when the students self-edit the sentences, checking for completeness, spelling of the word, and enough information so that the meaning of the word can be understood from its context in the sentence. Friday, I check off the sentences again before the students pair off and peer-edit each other’s sentences. On Monday, I choose students to put their sentences on the board, and I teacher-edit the sentences, identifying problems and showing how to use the words correctly again. The students then write a final draft of their sentences and they turn in both drafts at the beginning of class on Tuesday.

Tuesday, I glance over the sentences before picking them up; if they are complete, I accept them, if not (or if there is a manuscript format problem), I leave the papers on the student’s desk. Tuesday night, I edit the papers. Being anal retentive, I’ve come up with the following process. I take out my green pen and I mark all mistakes, misspellings, punctuation problems, grammar errors. If the vocabulary word is used awkwardly, I write that in the margin. If it is used incorrectly (either the meaning is off, or the word is not used as its correct part of speech [a noun is used as a verb, for example]), I note that in the margin as well. And if it is misspelled, I circle it.

Then I count the errors, one "demerit" for each non-vocab word mistake and awkward usage, two "demerits" for each incorrect use of a vocabulary word. If the student has less than eleven "demerits," I divide the number of demerits by two, subtract that number from twenty, and award that score to the student (for example, seven "demerits--negative three and a half points... seventeen points... a "B" on the assignment). If the student has more than eleven "demerits," however, the student has to do the paper over; I write across the top of the paper "Do-Over" and the following school day’s date. The student then has the responsibility to re-do the assignment, correcting the errors, and resubmit it on the next school day. If the resubmitted paper is on time and correct, the student earns full credit (possibly a perfect score of twenty). If a student takes ten stabs at the assignment before s/he nails it, so be it. At least, s/he has done it correctly, and knows what it feels like to succeed. My philosophy is that I would rather the student do the work correctly, at A or B level, than let a student do lousy work and squeak by with a D (which I do no award/reward). It is my conviction that anyone can pass my class; they may have to do some work (and do it over again), but they will pass, and succeed while doing it.

But, enough with the preliminaries. The student who turned in the following work, was absent three of the five days between the Tuesdays (including the due date); she turned in this work late, and her first draft was woefully un-peer-edited. Her sentences:

1. In the old dais the papal bat der batements from a apothecary.

2. The damsel needed help.

3. I depict my felings.

4. My brother is bery frivolous.

5. I heistate to do may homork.

6. (no sentence)

7. My mother shroud’s the frneter quen we go in becation.

8. My mom came home trudge from work evry day.

9. I was very vexed duryng may test.

10. My meckaup vial brok.

For anyone out there who was curious about what kind of student work I am receiving, here’s an example. This is a poor example, to be sure, and not all work is like this (in fact, this year’s English Nine vocabulary sentences are, on the whole, the best I’ve ever had), but this is not all that rare, either. This is fairly typical of the students who are being transitioned too early into mainstream English classes from the sheltered ESL program. This is not a slam against the program; I admire what they are attempting to do. I only bring up this example to remind the reader that our campus is over one-third Limited English Proficient, and this is LEP work.

Methodology? I hear some whisper... How did I edit this piece? Well, here we go...

1. In the old dais days, the papal people bat bought der their batements medicine from an apothecary. (I still have no clue what "batements" are; I think it might be vitamins, but I’m not sure; regardless, "medicine" fits the sentence best)

2. The damsel needed help. unclear meaning

3. I depict my feelings. unclear; how do you depict them?

4. My brother is bery very frivolous. unclear; how is he frivolous?

5. I heistate hesitate to do may homork homework.

6. (no sentence)

7. My mother shrouds the frneter furniture quen when we go ion becation vacation.

8. My mom came home trudged from work every day. incorrect use

9. I was very vexed durying may test.

10. My meckaup make-up vial broke.

Needless to say, it was a "Do-Over." And she hasn’t been to class since she turned it in. In fact, in the fifteen school days of the new term, she has already accrued twelve absences. She is missing eight out of a possible fourteen assignments; she has earned thirty-five percent of the points possible. She is failing my class, one of twenty-one fails second period (this number, my dear reader, is real and recent, real recent...).

I’m thoroughly depressed. It’s three-twenty. I’ve just finished doing my grade sheets for the week, so that I can post them in my class for Monday (thus, the real recent grade statistic). I have English Nine teacher-edits to do for Writer’s Workshop assignments. And I’m tired.

I’m going home.